the older i get, the more i cant and dont know how to control my feelings. I did it all good before, but now not.

miserable, floating, empty, depressing, crying, uncomfortable, exhausted, in pain, garden of loneliness, sorrowful, afraid, disgusting, abominable, adrift, tủi thân? idk which word can express exactly this thing.

And above all, suicidal thoughts: BACK

Choking up, bottle up, suffocating, what is these things?

Last night, i wished that I could have met my grandpa in my dream, but it didnt come true, i saw other things, but i didnt remember. actually, i did, but i forgot straight away. So, can u come to my dream this night, so that i can talk to u in my dream...

Thảm, than ever.

You know how to control, contain and moderate your feeling, right? So, plz do it well and stay positive, you cant treat yourself like that.